a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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