How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize