Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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