Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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