So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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