sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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