whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she smelled like a LAN party
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i now understand why vodka
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man