I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?