chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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