I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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