If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
