party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
