Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
