I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
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