I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
