I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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