Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
