Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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