I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
