Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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