Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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