Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize