fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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