the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
