worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
