I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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