Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize