If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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