we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
