dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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