I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
