Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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