Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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