Jerry, you need to find god
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
