I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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