How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
