operation have a gay friend backfired
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
