It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
