Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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