left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
