I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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