I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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