Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize