Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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