If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have so many feelings about this burrito
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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