At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize