Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
