Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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