Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
drinking out of a sandbucket again
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
