My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
