did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize