Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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