just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
