got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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