We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
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She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
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It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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