Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
