Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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