everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
